dude this thing has a flashlight? you son of a bitch, I’m in

oh no, the world will find out I’m 50. oh the shame, oh the horror.

Depression replaced with horror?

I’ll take it.

Let’s see if this link works. It’s just as fast-paced and exciting as a peewee soccer tournament

Actually, they should’ve pitted the robots against little kids. That would’ve been hilarious.

I sure would like to read this article, it seems fascinating, but it’s paywalled.

this is usually when I would say something conceited like “lol glad I don’t live in the US” but then I realise that I’m just as fucked as the rest of the world and we don’t have a future

hopefully microplastics will invade my colon/heart/kidneys/liver/brain soon and remove me from this living nightmare, I can’t deal with this shit anymore