He’s the bleedin’ son of god, not a bloody goose! Died for our sins and you’re trying to attract him like a hunter with a duck lure!

Does that controller work with one of 8bitdo’s wireless dongles? They’re pretty cheap - I paid around £8 for mine a few years back - but it will need a USB-A port free. Might be a stopgap so you can decide if something else better suits your needs.